Have you ever been in a situation where you try to speak to your grandmother and realise that you hesitate to think of what and how to say it to her? I know I have. Mind you, it’s not just about the age gap or the suitability of the conversation topic. The hesitance is actually due to the fear of offending them.The older you are, the more emotional you’ll get. On television, seniors are often portrayed as cranky and grumpy (next to spoilt kids). They can be labelled ‘high-context’ because they are simply, unpredictable. Communicating with them requires patience and the need to speak their lingo. We also need to understand the root to their behaviour so as to comprehend them better.
One cause is the pain that they suffer from their medical conditions such as arthritis and other age-related illnesses, which can result in depression. Seniors also feel that their presence is a burden to their children because they can’t contribute financially. This further accentuates the disappointment they have on themselves.
Thus, it is important that we make them feel appreciated and welcomed. Apart from strengthening relationships with our elders, other reasons on why we need to communicate well with them is because they can be our future in-laws, potential stakeholders, or even our employers. It is important that we understand them before we make any important decisions hastily. Also since Singapore has a large ageing population.
How else do you think we can communicate effectively with them?
How else do you think we can communicate effectively with them?
Hello Sarah
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to that as I live with my grandmother too. Sometimes she will pick out parts of what I said and insisted that it was offensive to her, which was not my intention at all. Sometimes when she feels bored, she will purposely talk about trivial things, repeat or refuses to answer directly to our questions, because she wants to talk more with us.
We just get frustrated at times, especially when we are busy with our own matters. She will feel sad if we raise our voices at her or ignore her and think that she, an old lady, is a trouble.
What we usually do is to try to be patient, spend as much time as we can afford with her, or ask her again if she understands us, and repeat if she does not. We all do want her to have more pleasant years ahead.
Thank you for sharing this very apparent social issue, especially in this time of ageing population.
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI can empathise with you on this, considering that I'm living under the same roof with both my grandparents. My grandmother has dementia and throws tantrums occasionally for no rhyme or reason. We understand that it's not entirely her fault, but it does get frustrating at times when we try to calm her down to no avail.
I'm not exactly sure how dementia works, but other times she'll be subdued and will smile whenever she sees us. That's when I'm reminded of how much she loves us and it takes away the frustration I once had against her when she was throwing tantrums.
So perhaps, when communication with the elderly is not the solution, we should try taking a step back and reflect on the time we have left with them.
Hello Sarah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this issue with us. It reminded me to think before I speak, especially when dealing with older folks.
Well, I understand your plight when you mentioned about how you hesitated to speak to your grandmother. However, I guess I will never get to fully comprehend the situation because my grandmother suffers from dementia. As a result, there was hardly any chance for conflicts.
Perhaps, you should see this as a blessing in disguise. At least, her grandmother is healthy enough to pick a fight with you. I agree with you that we should always be extra cautious and sensitive to elderly because they are emotionally vulnerable. Learn to be patient with your grandmother and understand her physical and emotional needs.
With these thoughts in mind, I believe you and your family will gradually appreciate her presence and enjoy her company and the invaluable knowlege she can share. =)
Regards,
May Chen, Crystal
Hi Siti,
ReplyDeleteYou remind me of my grandmother, who look after me since I was born in a big family. Indeed, my family members faced communication problems with my grandmother and we had no choice but to move out.
After years, my grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's disease and now she can't remember anyone but house maid who taking care of her.
I agree with Crystal, you should see this as a blessing and Wish only the best for you and your family.
Regards,
Kent